Last night's dinner was a home run. This is not always the case and sometimes that gets really frustrating. I get tired of hearing that they don't like it before they've even put it in their mouths. I also get tired of having to dumb down my own dinner if I don't want to listen to complaints. I happen to like grown up food and I am not willing to make 2 meals. Who has time (or energy) for that?
Last night's meal was not a kiddie meal. It did not include pizza, or mac and cheese, hot dogs or breaded chicken. It did include things like broccoli, spinach, tilapia and fresh cranberries (I maybe shouldn't include that in the list because they didn't like that part), but it was a grown up meal. They all ate it. All but the oldest had seconds of something. You may wonder, what was this miracle meal? I will tell you, but first I need to tell you something else. This is not food my kids ate the first time they saw it. This is food they said they didn't like before they tried it on different occasions. So, as you read this and see what my kids are eating, remember--if you want your kids to be adventurous eaters, it takes hearing the complaints and putting things they "don't like" in front of them over and over and over. It really works. Keep at it! They won't like everything and they won't like the same stuff every time, but just keep trying.
Ok, so here's what we had...
Tilapia fillets defrosted (my husband did mention that we needed to go fishing so we could get some better fish) broiled in the oven (4 min per side). Before I put them in the oven, I made a sauce/paste to melt over it. 1/4 cup butter, with some Tastefully Simple Spinach Dip Mix (a tablespoon, maybe), some chopped garlic and some powdered Parmesan cheese all mashed together.
Then I stirred in about 1/4 cup plain yogurt. I spread a blob over the top side of each filet, sprinkled a little salt a pepper and broiled it. Then I flipped it over and did the same but only broiled for 3 minutes. Then I added a little sprinkle of grated Parmesan and broiled for 1 more minute.
I thought it looked great, but it was fish, with a whitish sauce that had green stuff in it. My kids ate it right up. The 5- and 2-year-olds asked for seconds and the 7-year-old had thirds and lamented that there wasn't more when he was done. I was afraid no one would touch it with the green stuff... apparently they've gotten used to that in/on things--at least for one night.
We also had broccoli cheese soup. It's green, it's pureed, it's mostly broccoli and broth (I do make my own and store it in Ziploc bags in the freezer... when I forget to thaw ahead, I just throw the frozen broth in and let it melt) and also contains onion. Also, FYI, I'm pretty sure the writer of this recipe serves this soup as the whole meal. That would never fly in my house, but I have eaten only this for lunch before.
My oldest started out with a bigger serving than the others and he finished it. The 7-year-old was so full of fish, he ran out of room for seconds, but he had said he was going to have more. The 5-year-old had seconds and asked me today at lunch if we ate it all last night (I had made a double batch and put the leftovers in the freezer for another meal, so I couldn't give him any for lunch.). The 2-year-old started with just a little bit and finished it saying, "Dis good oup!" So, we gave her more, which she also finished. Previously, she wouldn't even put soup (of any kind) in her mouth.
I had also taken a loaf of Orange Cranberry Bread out of the freezer. I did not follow this recipe exactly because I always try to make stuff like this a little healthier. I only used half of the total sugar, but still both kinds and half of the flour was whole wheat. Typically with stuff like this I only use 1/4 of the oil (a lot of times coconut oil) and use plain yogurt to replace the rest, but this recipe only calls for 3 tablespoons, so I just left that alone.
This was the thing my kids wouldn't eat... they don't like chunks in their bread unless it's chocolate chips. They won't eat blueberry muffins, strawberry breads, apple pancakes... fruit should not be cooked into breads, in their minds. (Banana, pumpkin and zucchini are all fine, as long as there are no chunks.) They all tasted it. I don't know how they could say they didn't like it after one bite. I love this bread! It's got so much flavor, and with the orange in there, it's not just a fall/winter bread. It would totally go with a bright spring or summer meal. Anyway... it wasn't a big deal that they didn't eat it because it was probably the least nutritional of the three things and they had plenty with the other stuff. But, they all tasted it, and that's what we ask of them. Just to taste it.
I won't attempt to say we've got it all figured out--far from it. But, since I had a success, I thought I'd share in case it might help someone. Our dinner rules are as follows:
1. You have to taste everything. We start out as soon as they're eating table food trying to get them to taste things, but not forcing it. Once they're old enough to understand, we do ask them to have one bite of each thing (our youngest just got old enough for this). As they get a bit older we might have them take the number of bites to match their age (like the 5-year-old would take 5 bites, unless it's something completely new and/or not really that nutritional, like the bread). You will stay at the table until you have tried everything (or it's time for bed, or mom and dad get tired of waiting for you to finish, or you have convinced us you might actually be full and/or we are tired of listening to you say you are full off of the 2 bites you ate total) and you will not get something else without trying your food.
2. It's fine if you're full. They don't have to eat everything on their plates, but they won't get something else. If they get too full to finish, they are also too full for dessert, if there is dessert. (This does not apply to the one thing they may have eaten the required number of bites and still didn't "like.") I don't want them to have an obsession with a clean plate. If they're full, they're full. They shouldn't overeat just to make me happy. It's just as wasteful to eat it when you're full as it is to throw it away. This way they can learn to listen to their tummies, instead of watch for visual cues. (I do think each of them has probably gone to bed hungry on more than one occasion, but it seems like that gets them to be a little more willing to eat new foods the next time.)
These were not always our rules, although we've always had some variation of them for the most part. Our oldest is still the one who has the most foods he won't eat... eggs, strawberries, bananas, yogurt, kiwi, blueberries, any kind of berries... really, any fruit that's not watermelon, apples, grapes, and pineapple. I think this has something to do with the fact that we had to figure things out on him. But, he is also the kid who will eat the most other stuff and complain the least, so I'm a little more willing to let him have his particularities. He doesn't complain about new foods before trying them and he willingly eats the tastes required in order to move on to the next thing. Our second complains about everything, frequently ends up liking stuff he said was gross before he tried it and rarely gets to have a food he doesn't eat because we just have a hard time believing him. The 5-year-old is a combination of the older two. He complains, but will eat what he needs to when he decides he wants to be done. The two-year-old is actually probably the most adventurous of any of my kids at that age. She'll put it in her mouth (most of the time) and will try it once. This has gotten her eating things the others still won't touch, like raw sweet pepper strips.
Tonight we are having pizza with homemade crust. I don't put veggies on theirs, but since I'm making 3 pizzas anyway, I don't mind making one a little more kid-friendly.
Now, if only someone could tell me how to get them eating salad!
P.S. In case you're tempted to think I'm super impressive cooking all this for one night or to think I might actually be super-mom... my kitchen did not get cleaned up last night... all of the dishes sat in the sink and on the counter. My daughter screamed at me for 15 minutes because she didn't want to go to the bathroom (it had been at least 4 hours) and I haven't vacuumed in well over a month. :)
I promised a happy ending, and it's coming, but things were not happy for a while. I don't remember a whole lot of detail from the first few weeks after I was fired. I was hurt and struggling. Josh was hurt and having to continue to go to work with the people who had fired me and pretend like everything was fine. I was asking permission and then writing emails saying goodbye to my team and their parents. Josh had to face those kids daily and field questions that might come up. Thankfully, we leaned on each other and grew closer, rather than letting this get between us.
Josh had also interviewed for the head football coaching job. We were not surprised when he did not get it. I believed he would have had a better chance if I hadn't coached, but he denied it. This just added to the strain of his job and the difficulty in going to work every day.
Josh began looking for another job. It was pretty late in the school year for him to be looking and find something, but he had a few interviews. None of them was quite right, although each place told him he interviewed well, he did not get those jobs. He even looked in public school and was a finalist there. We accepted that we would be where we were for at least another year.
We stayed. I had a hard time even driving past the school. Eventually I was able to pick Josh up in the parking lot, but I was never able to bring myself to go back into the building. Josh continued to struggle going to work, watching people waste opportunities he had not been given. I can't fathom how difficult it was for him, all I know is that I'm not sure I would have been able to do what he did.
Now, I don't want to make it seem like no one at the school cared. There were some conversations (several, I think) between Josh and the principal. He did admit that they didn't handle the situation well and attempted to make things easier for Josh. A couple of people talked to the principal on my behalf. But it was just a tough situation all around.
Josh continued to keep an eye on possible job openings that would take us closer to either set of our parents or wouldn't require a move and sent his resume to those that might have fit and some that didn't. Things continued to fall through and we started to think we would have to stay yet another year. Then Josh found out a small Lutheran grade school near his parents' place was looking for a school administrator. It was the same church his brother and sister-in-law attended. Again, it was kind of late in the school year, and they wanted someone with an administration degree, but he sent in his resume anyway.
He got asked to do a phone interview, and then a second one. Then, on my oldest's birthday (during his party, as a matter of fact), while we were visiting my parents, Josh got a phone call telling him they would be extending him the call. This was June 10. We moved and closed on our new house July 25 and Josh started work the second week of August.
You may be asking, what does this have to do with all of the bad stuff? Why did you have to tell that? Sure, it's a happy ending, but so?
The answer is this: If we hadn't had to go through so much, if Josh had been mostly content with his job and only wishing we were closer to family, if he hadn't been second in line for so many jobs in his field, we would probably still be there. But, we both knew we needed to leave and that is how God got Josh to take a look at this job that was so different from what he had been doing. God used all of this struggle to get us exactly where he wanted us. Josh has even said, even maybe 2 years before he would not have taken a second look at this job. But now he's there, learning all sorts of new things, getting to be at school with his boys every day, and getting to face new and different challenges.
God is good, all the time!
Yesterday I was just so overwhelmed. I was stressed and feeling very under
accomplished.
Let me back up a bit. For those of you who don't know, we currently have two houses. The one in Missouri that we are trying to sell and our new house in Minnesota, where we live. Selling hasn't been going so well... no offers in 6 months.
Over Christmas someone broke into the Missouri house and stole the copper and caused some damage to the ceiling. Both stressful and frustrating for us... I don't understand why it's worth it to people for the little money they'll get for it. Anyway, this was the final straw that made us decide we'll have to do a short sale. We didn't really want to hurt our credit, but we're not moving back, we can't keep asking people to babysit, and we don't really have the funds for two mortgages (especially when, if we sell it normally we will have to pay a large amount to the bank at closing).
Decision made = less stress, right? Well, you would think, but there's a lot more to it. There are all kinds of thought processes behind short sale and many different ways to go about it. Do you fix the problems? Maybe, it would make the house worth more to get a better offer, but the house will still be vacant and there's nothing to stop the vandals from coming back. Maybe not, it is distressed so the bank will take less for it, but then you're marketing mostly to investors and the bank might not accept what they want to offer.
Anyway, I had to do a bunch of research, involving a bunch of phone calls (why don't realtors feel that email is an acceptable way to answer questions? It makes my life a lot easier if you can't hear that one kid is screaming, one is asking incessant questions, another is climbing on me and still another is yelling from downstairs that he needs wiped.) Over the last several days, I've been so focused on getting this all figured out that I don't feel like I've been giving my family the time I should. I've also gotten way behind on housework... namely the kitchen. Did I mention that my Christmas decorations were still up?
Over the weekend, we decided that we needed to make a switch in realtors so we could have someone with a different mindset. We emailed the new realtor to call us when she was on the clock and patiently (or maybe not so much for me) waited until Monday to call our realtor and tell her we needed something different. I called her yesterday morning, something that was very stressful for me, given my history, but something that we felt needed to happen. I called and talked to her, hoping after the conversation the decision would be made and we would be able to move forward. It was not to be...
She had been doing research and gave me a bunch of information and asked me to make more phone calls to do even more research. I didn't want to, but figured it was the easiest way to get things moving forward, and I know she really does care how things turn out for us. Taking care of all of this made it so I had to decide to skip my workout (for those of you that know me, this demonstrates exactly how badly I wanted to be done with all of this). I had to make more phone calls and discuss the new information with Josh. I emailed a few more questions to the new people and had to, you guessed it, make another phone call to get the answers while all the kids were home and awake because no one has business hours after the kids are in bed (why don't they, by the way?).
We had the new information and decided we would not switch, as long as our realtor went through this new group she had me talk to. She would still get commission (a bonus because that was the main reason we felt bad leaving her) and we would get the approach we thought made the most sense. Again, decision made = less stress. Again, you would think... but I still felt like I'd been neglecting my family to deal with and stress over this situation, and we still have to do a conference call with our realtor tonight. Plus, the Christmas decorations were still up, my kitchen still had almost every surface covered with dishes I hadn't had a chance to wash (the ones that won't fit in the dishwasher), my floor was covered in crumbs and my husband still had to leave for a meeting and then bowling so I was going to be doing bed time on my own. All after a super stressful day of phone calls and decision making.
The kids didn't really cooperate in letting me get things done or in picking up their toys. I took a picture... after 10 minutes of attempting to load the dishwasher (enough time to be practically done) I had 4 glasses and 2 pieces of silverware loaded. They kids were supposed to be picking up. They weren't and they were being loud and wild which inevitably led to tears and I had to deal with all of that. I got even more frustrated and made them get ready for bed early. After that, I finished the dishwasher and bedtime actually went more smoothly than I was expecting.
The kids were in bed, I could finally give my body and my brain a rest. But... the dishes... and the decorations... and the crumbs... and what about a work out? I knew I couldn't just let myself sit and watch tv or I would regret it come morning. So, I poured myself a glass of wine, grabbed a piece of dark chocolate and started up a show I had dvred (please note that it is dvred and I could just fast forward whenever I wanted).
I remembered something my mom used to do... "commercial dishes," we also did "commercial cleaning," but tonight it was dishes that were the focus. I don't know if this is something my mom just came up with out of necessity (after a day like mine or to trick us kids into getting the work done) or if she got the idea from someone else. Anyway, the idea was that you could get a lot done during the commercials of that show you wanted to watch. This was before dvrs and online repeats of current shows, so you either had to set up your vcr (if you had one) to record the show or watch it when it played. In this scenario, you sat and watched your show, but during the commercials you went and did whatever needed done, as quickly as possible. You left someone (in our house it was usually Dad or my baby brother... not sure how Dad lucked out) by the tv to tell you when it was back so you could come running and reclaim your seat. I think we probably got a lot done during commercials, and we didn't have to miss our favorite shows.
So, at the first commercial in my show, I didn't hit fast forward, I got up and filled the sink with soapy water and started adding dishes. There were enough dishes that I had to drain it and refill it a second time and it took long enough that I wasn't done by the time my show was over, but I got it done without feeling so stressed and run-down. I was just taking breaks from my break to do a little cleaning. I got all of the dishes done and wiped down the surfaces. My Christmas stuff was still up and there were still crumbs on the floor and toys in the living room, but I could go to bed feeling a little better. There was less to do and the decision had been made so I wouldn't have to spend all day dealing with that.
I got my Christmas decorations put away today (until I find the couple of odd stowaways that I always seem to miss--I think I just realized the Little People nativity is still out) and it wasn't as bad as I thought, having two little ones to "help" me. I found some easy tasks for them and we spent some quality time together (another thing I had been missing) getting it done.
So, what have I learned from yesterday?
1. There should be a group of businesses that caters to parents and has hours from 7pm until midnight. Don't you think they'd be very popular? I would probably be willing to pay more (and for me, that's saying something) if I could take care of all of my business stuff after the kids were in bed.
2. Realtors don't like to communicate via email. I do!
3. Bedtime goes much more smoothly if you're not racing the clock and it's actually almost pleasant... now to figure out how to make that happen on a nightly basis...
4. Commercial dishes: Great idea! Thanks, Mom!
And finally...
5. Commercials are good for something besides giving your kids the gimmes.
