An Overwhelmed Voice

Yesterday I was just so overwhelmed.  I was stressed and feeling very under
accomplished.

Let me back up a bit. For those of you who don't know, we currently have two houses.  The one in Missouri that we are trying to sell and our new house in Minnesota, where we live.  Selling hasn't been going so well... no offers in 6 months.  

Over Christmas someone broke into the Missouri house and stole the copper and caused some damage to the ceiling.  Both stressful and frustrating for us... I don't understand why it's worth it to people for the little money they'll get for it.  Anyway, this was the final straw that made us decide we'll have to do a short sale.  We didn't really want to hurt our credit, but we're not moving back, we can't keep asking people to babysit, and we don't really have the funds for two mortgages (especially when, if we sell it normally we will have to pay a large amount to the bank at closing).  

Decision made = less stress, right?  Well, you would think, but there's a lot more to it.  There are all kinds of thought processes behind short sale and many different ways to go about it.  Do you fix the problems?  Maybe, it would make the house worth more to get a better offer, but the house will still be vacant and there's nothing to stop the vandals from coming back.  Maybe not, it is distressed so the bank will take less for it, but then you're marketing mostly to investors and the bank might not accept what they want to offer.  

Anyway, I had to do a bunch of research, involving a bunch of phone calls (why don't realtors feel that email is an acceptable way to answer questions?  It makes my life a lot easier if you can't hear that one kid is screaming, one is asking incessant questions, another is climbing on me  and still another is yelling from downstairs that he needs wiped.)  Over the last several days, I've been so focused on getting this all figured out that I don't feel like I've been giving my family the time I should.  I've also gotten way behind on housework... namely the kitchen.  Did I mention that my Christmas decorations were still up?

Over the weekend, we decided that we needed to make a switch in realtors so we could have someone with a different mindset.  We emailed the new realtor to call us when she was on the clock and patiently (or maybe not so much for me) waited until Monday to call our realtor and tell her we needed something different.  I called her yesterday morning, something that was very stressful for me, given my history, but something that we felt needed to happen.  I called and talked to her, hoping after the conversation the decision would be made and we would be able to move forward.  It was not to be... 

She had been doing research and gave me a bunch of information and asked me to make more phone calls to do even more research.  I didn't want to, but figured it was the easiest way to get things moving forward, and I know she really does care how things turn out for us. Taking care of all of this made it so I had to decide to skip my workout (for those of you that know me, this demonstrates exactly how badly I wanted to be done with all of this).  I had to make more phone calls and discuss the new information with Josh.  I emailed a few more questions to the new people and had to, you guessed it, make another phone call to get the answers while all the kids were home and awake because no one has business hours after the kids are in bed (why don't they, by the way?).  

We had the new information and decided we would not switch, as long as our realtor went through this new group she had me talk to.  She would still get commission (a bonus because that was the main reason we felt bad leaving her) and we would get the approach we thought made the most sense.  Again, decision made = less stress.  Again, you would think... but I still felt like I'd been neglecting my family to deal with and stress over this situation, and we still have to do a conference call with our realtor tonight.  Plus, the Christmas decorations were still up, my kitchen still had almost every surface covered with dishes I hadn't had a chance to wash (the ones that won't fit in the dishwasher), my floor was covered in crumbs and my husband still had to leave for a meeting and then bowling so I was going to be doing bed time on my own.  All after a super stressful day of phone calls and decision making.

The kids didn't really cooperate in letting me get things done or in picking up their toys.  I took a picture... after 10 minutes of attempting to load the dishwasher (enough time to be practically done) I had 4 glasses and 2 pieces of silverware loaded.  They kids were supposed to be picking up.  They weren't and they were being loud and wild which inevitably led to tears and I had to deal with all of that. I got even more frustrated and made them get ready for bed early.  After that, I finished the dishwasher and bedtime actually went more smoothly than I was expecting.  

The kids were in bed, I could finally give my body and my brain a rest.  But... the dishes... and the decorations... and the crumbs... and what about a work out?  I knew I couldn't just let myself sit and watch tv or I would regret it come morning.  So, I poured myself a glass of wine, grabbed a piece of dark chocolate and started up a show I had dvred (please note that it is dvred and I could just fast forward whenever I wanted).  

I remembered something my mom used to do... "commercial dishes," we also did "commercial cleaning," but tonight it was dishes that were the focus. I don't know if this is something my mom just came up with out of necessity (after a day like mine or to trick us kids into getting the work done) or if she got the idea from someone else.   Anyway, the idea was that you could get a lot done during the commercials of that show you wanted to watch.  This was before dvrs and online repeats of current shows, so you either had to set up your vcr (if you had one) to record the show or watch it when it played.  In this scenario, you sat and watched your show, but during the commercials you went and did whatever needed done, as quickly as possible.  You left someone (in our house it was usually Dad or my baby brother... not sure how Dad lucked out) by the tv to tell you when it was back so you could come running and reclaim your seat.  I think we probably got a lot done during commercials, and we didn't have to miss our favorite shows.  

So, at the first commercial in my show, I didn't hit fast forward, I got up and filled the sink with soapy water and started adding dishes.  There were enough dishes that I had to drain it and refill it a second time and it took long enough that I wasn't done by the time my show was over, but I got it done without feeling so stressed and run-down.  I was just taking breaks from my break to do a little cleaning.  I got all of the dishes done and wiped down the surfaces.  My Christmas stuff was still up and there were still crumbs on the floor and toys in the living room, but I could go to bed feeling a little better.  There was less to do and the decision had been made so I wouldn't have to spend all day dealing with that.  

I got my Christmas decorations put away today (until I find the couple of odd stowaways that I always seem to miss--I think I just realized the Little People nativity is still out) and it wasn't as bad as I thought, having two little ones to "help" me.  I found some easy tasks for them and we spent some quality time together (another thing I had been missing) getting it done.  

So, what have I learned from yesterday?

1.  There should be a group of businesses that caters to parents and has hours from 7pm until midnight.  Don't you think they'd be very popular?  I would probably be willing to pay more (and for me, that's saying something) if I could take care of all of my business stuff after the kids were in bed.

2.  Realtors don't like to communicate via email.  I do!  

3.  Bedtime goes much more smoothly if you're not racing the clock and it's actually almost pleasant... now to figure out how to make that happen on a nightly basis...

4.  Commercial dishes: Great idea!  Thanks, Mom! 

And finally...

5. Commercials are good for something besides giving your kids the gimmes.