Wait... what?
No, I didn't gain it all back, and no, I didn't stop exercising or eating healthy (ok, maybe I slacked a little too much on the latter). I've gained about two pounds, but I've also lost inches in that time (as long as I'm actually measuring correctly). I found out that someone (me) who has been working out and eating well consistently and has already lost a significant amount of weight can still lose inches without losing weight or making changes in the exercise routine. I needed to learn that. I think it's a good lesson for a lot of people.
I got tired of taking the time to track my calories, especially when we were traveling. I was also getting frustrated that the number wasn't going down, or not as quickly as I wanted. I decided it was time to step back. I needed to see what I had accomplished and be proud of it. I needed to quit getting irritated when the number didn't change (I'm still working on this one). The goal was supposed to be fitness and health, not the number. So, I decided to step back from weight loss competitions, stop stressing about tracking every calorie and quit being so concerned about the number on the scale (it's right around 160, in case you wanted to know--see, that's an accomplishment... it's just a number so it doesn't matter who knows). I do still weigh myself most days because I'm afraid that if I don't, I will think I'm doing well when really I'm not. I do still need to see a number to keep myself accountable.
I also forced myself to focus on what I had accomplished. I lost 30 pounds. I also achieved another goal. Remember how I said I wanted to feel like I looked good in pictures with my skinny sisters and not stand out as the obvious fatty? I think I did it here:
This was taken at Christmas. I'm the one standing on the right. (We're missing one sister, though.)
Much better than this picture, taken at my youngest's baptism dinner (2 years ago). If I said I was the chubby one, you'd easily be able to tell that I'm the one on the far right. (I will give myself that this was less than two months after she was born, but I didn't get much smaller.)
I'd call that a success.
Here's a little before/after comparison. The one on the left is the before picture from my first biggest loser competition, taken June 3. I had lost four pounds and was in a consistent workout routine. The second one, on the right, is taken at the end of the third competition, in early March--29 pounds lost. I actually didn't lose any weight during the third competition--well, I had to re-lose a few pounds after a trip-- but I still lost inches. I did most of the competition without tracking calories... somehow I had lost the time. That was a frustrating competition for me, but seeing the pictures and the lost inches helped a lot.
Then there's this picture, taken on Sunday (Easter), with my youngest sister.
She's obviously thinner than I, but I wouldn't be able to describe myself as the chubby one, and that body has carried 4 kids. (I'm in blue, in case you didn't know.)
So, I achieved one of my goals. I am no longer the fat sister (no one is, in case you're wondering, and no one but I ever said I was). I'm still technically 8 pounds overweight, but, as I've said before, BMI is dumb! I don't think anyone would look at me and think I'm overweight. Well... maybe some scout for models, but that's not what I'm going for.
I'll be honest, I would still like to lose more. But, that's just a small part of what I wanted to accomplish.
1. Get healthy: I just went to the doctor for some neck pain I've been having and because I needed to get my cholesterol tested for insurance. First, he told me he wasn't going to do x-rays because I was too healthy and some stretches should take care of it. Then, he told me he wasn't going to add any other tests to my blood work because I was so healthy otherwise. Goal achieved!
2. Build muscle and endurance: I started with 2 segments of a 50 minute workout video, hopefully four times a week. That whole video is now too easy, so I only do it once a week or not at all. I can complete any one of my four videos on any day, and I do 5, or occasionally 6 times a week. I ran for 16 minutes the first time I tried and that was painful, plus it was less than a mile and a half. Now I run almost 3 and a half miles in a little over 30 minutes, when I choose to run (meaning, I can do it without having run in a month) and I'm not feeling it for days after. Goal achieved!
3. Look good in clothes instead of pinched and stuffed into them: I was a size 12 or 14 and L/XL, now I'm an 8 or 6 (except for Lauren Conrad dresses, apparently... those are 10) and a S/M. I don't have the pants from my before picture because they didn't stay up and the bra is too big and can only be worn around the house. I still have the bra from the after picture, but it's a little large and I can't wear it if my workout is going to be too bouncy (sorry if that's TMI). The shorts from the after picture require a tightly cinched drawstring to stay up. Goal achieved!
4. Keep up with kids in play: This weekend we had a family kick ball game in our back yard (less competitive than it may sound when the age range of the players is from almost 60 to barely 2). I played while holding the 2-year-old for most of the game. This includes kicking, running bases, and in the field. I wasn't sore the next day and I wasn't tired out. Plus we all had fun. Goal achieved!
5. Eat healthier: Again, not eliminate foods, but make healthier choices consistently. I eat a salad for lunch probably 3 times per week, and I like it. When I bake, I reduce the sugar and sub plain yogurt for half to 3/4 of the fat/oil in most recipes (the super yummy cake I made for Easter doesn't count) and I look for healthier recipes to begin with. I do still crave some of the bad stuff and sometimes a glass of wine after the kids are in bed just sounds too good too many times a week, but I have definitely improved and I do think about what I am putting into my mouth. Goal achieved, with room for continued improvement!
6. Lose weight: The soft goal was to get down to 152 pounds, that's the top of a healthy BMI for someone who is 5'6". The harder goal was 140, you know, to prove that I could do it and to make sure I was well within the "healthy" BMI... possibly to give myself room to gain a little back. Maybe also to see what it felt like to shop for clothes that small. I haven't reached either of those specific goals, I'm ok with that for now and I have lost quite a bit. Look at everything else I've done. It's just a number anyway.
And I guess that's my point here. The number really is just a number. If your body can do what you want to be able to do and you're healthy, then who cares what the scale says? Maybe the number I picked out wasn't the right one. Maybe it will be the right one eventually. But, for now, I'm not going to dwell on what I didn't accomplish; I'm going to focus on what I did, and it feels like that was quite a lot!
I think the biggest benefit for me in all of this is that I have a fitness routine. I workout every weekday during nap time. If I don't get a workout in, I miss it. If my day is going to be a bit different, the first thing I try to figure out is how I can get a workout in. I'm committed. I know that I don't want to go back and I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen.
Related Links:
55 Things the Scale Won't Tell You:
http://www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?post=55_things_the_scale_wont_tell_you
Why Calories Don't Matter:
http://drhyman.com/blog/2014/04/10/calories-dont-matter/#close
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